Nervously Hyper
by black hearted evil
Summary: Rouge is a nervous wreck... Kai and Ghost are too hyper and annoying... will they help each other without getting killed by Rouge's anger or their annoyingness? 'M' RATED! CAREFUL!
1. PREGNANT?

I don't remember if this is my 32nd or my 33rd… I gotta check… oh… it's my 34th!… 34 is my lucky number… maybe this'll be a good story… maybe not…

Kai is mine… Ghost is (umm… hmm…) ghost's… Max is Max Taylor's…

**IMPORTANT!-Anyone who is under 17 may need parental consent… because… this is some weird shit going on in here… it's serious and funny at the same time… not in this chapter… not yet… in the next ones…**

**And… don't think that I made this up… this is all Max Taylor's fault! (evil laugh) Okay, fine… SOME were her ideas… like what Kai will say… to Shadow…**

"C'mon, Ghost! Hurry up!" Kai yelled down the street.

"I… I don't think that this is a good idea…" Ghost mumbled. 

"Well, why not? It's just a trip to her house…" Kai asked him.

"Well…"

_Flashback…_

"_Can we go over to your house?"_

"_HELL NO!"_

_End flashback…_

"Don't you get it, Ghost? No means yes!" she explained.

"Umm… not exactly sure about what you just said… but… I… guess… just as long as you take all the blame if she gets angry…" he muttered.

"Well, c'mon! How angry was she on the phone? Not that much, right?"

_Flashback…_

"_HOW DARE YOU CALL ME? WHAT DO YOU WANT, YOU BASTARD?"_

"_Umm…"_

_End flashback…_

Kai ran up the steps of a familiar house. Ghost slowly followed.

Kai knocked on the white doors of the huge mansion doors.

"Kai… we should leave… now…" Ghost said.

"Come on! She won't be **that** mad…" Kai said.

Ghost hid behind Kai, preparing for the beating of a lifetime. After a few minutes, Kai knocked again.

"Well, she's not here… let's go!"

Kai stopped him, then she grabbed the doorknob… to her surprise, it was unlocked.

"C'mon, Ghost!" she whispered.

"No! This is trespassing and way more-"

They found Rouge, crying on the floor. She looked desperately sad.

"Rouge? What's wrong?" Kai asked her.

"I-I-I can't tell you!" she stammered.

"Well, then, tell me!" Ghost laughed out.

Rouge turned to him with her bloodshot eyes. She had been crying too much.

"Well, what happened?" Ghost asked, a bit more serious than last time.

"I-I-I'm…"

"Pregnant?" Ghost guessed. Kai then elbowed his ribs and he stifled a laugh.

The two knew that they were wrong.

"YES!"

Ghost and Kai jumped from horror.

"What? Rouge, you… oh… my… god…" Ghost muttered.

"Who's the lucky father?" Kai asked in a sing-song voice.

She started sobbing again. "That's just it! I… don't know!" she said.

"Any ideas?" Ghost asked.

"Umm… Shadow or Knuckles…"

"WHAT? Shadow?" Kai asked, furiously.

"You were cheating on them?"

"Well… I just need you guys to help me!"

She stood up.

"You… don't look any different…" Kai said.

"Do bats lay eggs?" Ghost asked.

"That's just like asking if hedgehogs lay eggs…" Kai told him.

"But we're not bats… we're hedgehogs…"

"Oh… yeah… well, why don't you ask **her**? She's a bat…"

"Well… that's just rude!" Ghost said.

"Wait… do echidnas lay eggs?" Kai got curious.

"Why are you talking about that? There are no echidnas here whatsoever!"

"Well, I'm curious…"

Ghost sighed.

"Do cats lay eggs?"

"Just shut up, both of you!" Rouge yelled at them.

"Don't worry, we'll help you…" Kai said.

**Two goofballs plus a nervous wreck equals? Well? That's your homework… find the answer! Don't worry… there are no wrong answers… (well…)**


	2. Knuckles's Wise Words

**Only one person tried to guess the answer to my trick que- err… my question? **

**IMPORTANT!- (I've said it, and I'll do it again…) If you are under 17, you may wanna get parental consent… guardian permission… your older sib watching your every move, anything!**

"Well… how will we do that?" Ghost asked Kai.

"Well… remember school? Who got a perfect score **plus** extra credit on their sex ed final exam?" Kai asked.

Ghost thought for a moment… then gasped. "It's Knuckles!"

"Wait! I can't go over there! What if… he's the father?" Rouge asked.

Kai and Ghost exchanged glances. Ghost snorted and started cracking up. Kai stifled a laugh. Then, they both fell to the floor, laughing their guts out…

"SHUT UP!"

The two got up immediately.

**Later… on Angel Island…**

"Sooo… tell me again why you need this info…" Knuckles asked Ghost and Kai.

"Umm… err…" they both mumbled, not knowing what to say.

Kai knew that they'd be **killed** if he found out Rouge was pregnant… and they'd be overkill if Knuckles was the father…

"Umm…"

"Lie!" Kai whispered to Ghost.

"Err… SHE'S PREGNANT!" Ghost said, pointing to Kai.

Kai had her mouth wide open and was giving a death glare to Ghost. Ghost swallowed a hard lump in his throat.

"Whatever… I don't need a reason…" Knuckles said.

Kai's mouth was still open.

"Well, who's the father… if Kai's pregnant?" Knuckles asked.

Kai thought that it was a perfect chance for revenge.

"HE RAPED ME!" she said, pointing to Ghost.

"What? I am 15 and I am a virgin, thank you very much!" Ghost snapped at her.

"WELL, I'M 16… and… umm… nevermindlet'sforgetaboutit…" she mumbled quickly.

Ghost looked at her with an eyebrow up.

"I don't know what kind of evil thing possessed you two to have sex with each other… but-"

"WE DIDN'T!" Ghost yelled.

"Whatever… you **may** wanna write this down…" Knuckles said with a smirk.

Kai shuddered. "Well, it pains me just to hear it… so I'll give Ghost the privilege to listen to all your wise words of… sex ed…" Kai laughed out.

Kai walked away from them and used a Chaos Control to get off of the island.

Ghost cursed under his breath. He took out a notebook and a pen. He swallowed harshly.

"Well, let's get this over with…" he muttered.

Knuckles sighed. He was sitting in front of the emerald… while Ghost sat at the steps.

**(The perv- I mean… the perfect time for an A/N… Ghost… sorry for the grossness!)**

**Later…**

Ghost's eyes were wide open with fear… while Knuckles looked perfectly calm.

"I… Am… Never… Looking… At… A… Girl… Again…" he said softly.

"Well, it's not that bad…" Knuckles said.

Ghost shivered. "Gross! Don't say the words sperm and girl in the same sentence again!" he yelled at Knuckles. "Okay… and not the words orgasm and-"

"**You're** the one that told me to tell you this stuff…" Knuckles said.

"Okay… fine… umm… answer… my very random, curious questions… 'kay? Umm… don't think that I'm talking about someone but… do bats lay eggs?" Ghost asked.

Knuckles immediately looked up. His eyebrow slowly raised. "Why… do… you ask?"

"Umm… just… curious…"

"No…"

"Oooookkkkaaaayy… umm… if… let's pretend an echidna impregnates a bat… what will their kid look like?" Ghost asked, trying his hardest not to be suspicious.

"Well… whosever's genes stick out… like if the dominant gene of the parents' combined is… white fur, the child will have white fur…" Knuckles answered.

"Umm…" Ghost shuddered as he pictured many different ways Rouge's baby can look.

**Meanwhile…**

"C'mon, we can get some information from Shadow right now!" Kai said.

"B-b-b-but… what if **he's** the father?" Rouge asked.

Kai narrowed her eyes. "IF… HE IS THE FATHER… YOU AND YOUR NEWBORN SHALL DIE THE MOST PAINFULL DEATH KNOWN TO ANIMAL… **my** way…" she muttered threateningly.

**Anyway… do you guys think that they'll have better luck at Shadow's? ANSWER ME! I was kidding… I was just upset that only one person answered my question last time… Ghost… **

**SOOO SORRY FOR THE PERVERSION, GHOST!**


	3. Oh, The Drama!

**Yayness! This is the DRAMA part of my Humor/Drama story… **

**I don't know why… but, I suddenly want to write a Sasuke/Sakura story… not like you guys know what I'm talking about… it's NARUTO! (Sasuke rox! He reminds me of… Shadow!)**

**IMPORTANT!- Get parental consent, guardian permission, or an older sib watching you… GAHLIK, THIS INCLUDES YOU! (and V.B. but, he's trustworthy)**

Rouge sat on the steps of Shadow's mansion. She didn't want to be seen… inside, Ghost and Kai were both talking to Shadow.

_I… can't handle this kind of responsibility… I… can't be a parent… not at this age… I'm only 17… and… my parents… since when did they raise such a **slut** as a child? My mother would be deeply ashamed of me… not like **that's** different… she's always seen me as different… as independent… but of course, there are a lot of people that find my independence a good thing… Shadow, for one, my first real friend and partner… Knuckles… ah, that knucklehead… all brawn but no brain… he can see right through me… he really doesn't need the intelligence to…_

Rouge sighed.

_If the father is Knuckles… at least he'll understand… he'll be nice… I **know** he will…he's always understood me at times of pain and sadness… desperation, even…Knuckles was always an honest one… so, if he knew anything… I'm sure he'd say it…_

_If the father is Shadow… I should move away to another country and change my name… just to be safe from Kai… but… if it's Shadow, he's a nice friend… he'll help me although he really despises children… as long as he will help me… _

She had her head above her hands. Her eyes were pointed down at the cement. Little pools of water formed in her eyes.

_I'm a failure… to my parents, to my new baby… and most importantly… to myself… I… I would have to give it up to an orphanage or something… I… can't live like that… I just can't let someone suffer… because of me…_

**Inside, (end all sad parts… for now…)**

"Anyway… wha-?" Shadow asked.

Ghost swallowed a lump in his throat. "Did… did… did you have…"

"Go on, say it!" Kai whispered to him.

"Well, you can't just ask a guy about his sex life! It's against the rules!" Ghost whispered back.

"Fine…" Kai resumed with her loud voice. "Hey, Shadow… did you have sex with someone… let's say… a few… months ago?" Kai asked.

Shadow spit out the water that he was drinking. Kai caught some of the small droplets with her tongue.

"You can't just ask a guy about his sex life! It's against the rules!" Shadow said.

"What?" Kai asked.

"Have you never told her, Ghost?" Shadow asked.

"Umm…"

"C'mon, that's your best friend… talk!" Shadow commanded.

"But… she's a girl… why can't we get another girl to talk about this?" Ghost asked frantically.

**Outside…**

Rouge sighed. _I can't live with a heavy conscience… I want to talk to someone… but my two best friends… are talking to each other… I'm too afraid to approach Shadow anyway… and… Kai… is busy… _

Rouge fidgeted with her fingers. _Good thing I found out this early… if not, I'd be in deep shit… I… still don't know who the father is… and… I have a feeling that if I find out… I'd make my life worse… sadder, more… stressed. _

_Let's look at the positives, Rouge… I wonder if my baby's a boy or a girl… I hope it's a girl… if not, that's okay too… and if it is a girl… I would raise it just as my parents raised me… except… treat her with better care… so she doesn't turn out like this… if it's a boy… I'll warn him… not to do these kinds of things…_

Rouge sighed. She heard footsteps nearing the house and managed to hide in the nearest bush. A rabbit walked up to the steps… a rabbit with jeans and a white t-shirt.

**Inside…**

"No way… you got Maxie?" Shadow asked.

"I told you to call me Max!" she yelled and hit Shadow on the head.

"MAX! I don't care if you disrespect Knuckles… but don't you DARE hurt Shadow… especially in front of me!" she yelled to her friend.

"Well, I've been practicing… bring it on!"

"I've upgraded myself and I've trained… so **you** bring it on!"

The two girls started fighting… punches, kicks, and other painful things…

**Let's just skip to a few minutes later…**

Maximum was panting while Kai was standing up with a smile spread across her face.

"I told you, you can't beat me, you bitch!… But, I forgive you… JUST DON'T DO IT AGAIN!" Kai yelled.

Max weakly nodded.

**Kai is stronger than Maximum Taylor! Mwuahahahaha! (ahem…) Anyway, I think she is… and what the author(ress) says, goes…**


End file.
